Lousy Experiences
by Princess Twinkie
Summary: Bella in gym and surprise birthday party. Based on real life experience. One shot
1. Chapter 1

**_Author's Note_**: Thank my parents for this one. They dragged out my childhood pictures which included my eighth birthday party, which happened to have a piñata, which I swung at and almost killed my aunt because I hit her instead, they took her to the hospital and she was out cold for two days. Yes I was quite clumsy as a child but thank god I outgrew that. And this is my way to avenge my gym teacher for kicking me out of gym because I played like a "wild beast intent on killing all its victims". (how I hate my childhood and PE teacher(I am not a wild beast! Just really competitive!)

**_Disclaimer_**: I don't own Twilight, but I own the experiences below because they really happened me. I don't own the characters to which I give these wonderful experiences and revenges.

I was sitting at the Cullen and Hale table as was usual now. I was still mad at Edward

and I really didn't want to sit here just to spite him, but I couldn't sit with Jess and Mike either,

ever since Edward had practically shouted "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" to me this morning they

wouldn't leave me alone.

Suddenly Edwards started laughing (more like roaring really). "What?" I demanded.

"Nothing," He replied, I knew he was lying, angrily I got up to leave, that's when I

overheard the word "party".

"No," I said without turning around. He already ruined the day by shouting it was my

birthday first thing in the morning. All day people kept running up to me to say happy birthday.

I hated my birthday, I think the date of the day I was born is what makes me so accident prone.

"Not us," Edward said grinning, "Jess and Mike are planning a surprise party." He burst

out laughing the next second, "Mike is really thinking of not inviting me, and Jess definitely

wants to," He explained.

"Don't you have anything you want to do this weekend," I asked, clearly he wasn't thirsty, I

could tell because his eyes were golden topaz at the moment. "How bought you Alice?"

"Not really, no," They both answered.

"But imagine what could happen to me, it's the thirteenth and it's a Friday," I attempted to

plead.

Now they were both ignoring me, they were both exchanging looks. Knowing they weren't going

to say anything more I left.

We were watching a film, I was ignoring Edward as much as I could, and I refused to look at

him.

The bell rang and I left, he didn't catch up to me which was surprising. I looked back and saw

that Jess was talking to him, I glared and shook my head, he ignored me and nodded to

something she said. I scowled and continued on my way to gym. We were playing dodge ball.

Somehow Edward had managed to get into everyone of my classes this year, he claimed he had

nothing to do with it but I knew his influential powers over the school. He was chosen as captain

and told to pick teams, so was Mike. I was shocked and a little hurt when he didn't pick me, he

winked at me, as though to say ha-ha. We started playing and for some reason nobody was

trying to hit me, I think they were afraid of who I might hurt, pretty soon I was the last person on

the court along with Jess who was standing unsure next to me. His eyes locked on mine and I

knew he was aiming for me, the gym was absolutely silent

(a first). Just as he threw the ball I ducked behind Jess. The gym teacher blew his whistle

signaling the end of the game. (ha! This is me winning the game!)

We drove home in silence, on my part the silence was angry. "Do you want to go to a

movie tonight?" He asked.

I rolled my eyes, "Sure." I knew that he was going to drive me to Jess's house but I didn't

care anymore, I would eventually pay him back, someday, I hope.

I put on the worst outfit, just to spite him. The baggiest sweater I could find, which just

happened to be olive green, and a skirt which looked as thought it were made of snake skin, I

think Renee bought them, I couldn't be sure.

I looked out the window and saw two things, one it wasn't raining, and two, he was

waitingin his Volvo, he honked when he saw me looking. I ran downstairs and yelled to Charlie

as I headed out, "Going to movies with Edward, back in a while."

"Come on, we have to go back home," was the first thing he said to me.

"Why?" I asked curiously.

"Because I'm not going to walk into a theater with you in that, I think Alice can fix you

up a bit," he replied.

"I thought I was the girl," I remarked, although I knew the reason was because Jess probably told

him to make sure I dressed properly for the party.

He growled in reply, we were already at the Cullen/Hale house by then so it didn't matter.

Alice ushered me upstairs just like last year at prom, she already had a skimpy little outfit picked

out. "To bad we don't have time to do make up," She sighed.

I put on the black skirt and top, she thought it most appropriate that I wear a halter top to the

party. "I don't need to wear a halter to go to the movies," I hinted at my knowledge.

"Bella I already know that you know, Jess told Edward after biology to get you to her house,

what was he supposed to do? Refuse?"

"Yes," I grumbled in reply.

"Go, you're going to be late."

I walked as slow as I could back downstairs, Edward immediately came up and started running.

He drove record speed, I think the Volvo was starting to protest actually.

"Should I act surprised or should I tell everyone you told me? I wonder how they did this so

Quickly, they wouldn't even know about my birthday if it weren't for you."

"Actually Jess asked Charlie once when you weren't home and she was waiting for you," He

replied with a smile.

He rang the doorbell and Jess opened the door, I was greeted by a chorus of "Surprise"! I put on

my best surprised face, and I guess it passed because nobody looked disappointed. I turned

around and noticed that Edward had left, curse him! He hated parties, but I didn't think he

would leave me like that. I didn't have much time to dwell on that though, because the next

second there stood a strawberry cake with eighteen candles.

They sang happy birthday and I blew the candles accidentally lighting the table cloth on fire. Jess

was all ready with the fire extinguisher, everybody was laughing as though this were to be

expected.

Everyone who was there, and I knew all of them cause I knew practically everyone at Forks High

wanted to play spin the bottle, I personally thought we were to old but whatever. Five minutes

later the game came to an abrupt halt because the closet door got stuck and refused to open. I

thought that maybe the party was over but of course not, Mike went into the kitchen for a second

and came out with a giant colorful donkey, a blindfold, and a bat. "Are you serious?" I shrieked, I

mean we just played softball in gym last week, I don't think anyone in my gym class had

forgotten that, I somehow managed to hit the gym teacher in the head when I swung the bat.

"Can she not swing the bat? I like my head the way it is." Somebody called out. "I agree," I

replied.

"Come on one swing, I'm sure if everyone stands far enough away nobody will get hurt," Mike

Replied, hanging the piñata. Everyone backed away to make a wide circle around it as Mike tied

a blindfold on me. He spun me around three times and I took my first swing, I heard a loud thud

and started screaming "I hit it! I hit it!" I took my blindfold off and saw Jess lying on the floor out

cold with a huge egg like bump on her head. (A/N Jess is my aunt who ended up in the hospital)

"I told you not to give her the bat, but did you listen nooo!" The same guy who commented

before exclaimed. "Jess! Jess! Are you okay?" I started shaking her.

"Stop shaking me my head hurts!"

"Oh my god, I am so sorry!"

At that moment Jessica's mother came in and began shrieking, she called 911 immediately and

had Jess carted to the hospital.

I left then, and began walking home, I met Edward half way. "Party already over?" He asked.

"There was a piñata and I hit Jess on the head, her mom took her to the hospital," I explained.

He burst out laughing, "I knew I should have stayed, but I really didn't want to be at a party with

them, but I really wish I saw you swing, was it like gym last week?"

"Yeah, except Jess went out cold."

"Don't worry she'll be fine," He replied, he motioned for me to get in the car, he drove me home,

I took a giant sleeping pill and went to bed in his angelic arms.

_**I know this sucked, but I was bored so whatever.**_


	2. Author's Note Am I insane?

Author's Note: Why is it only me that thinks of crazy things that can go along with Bella's condition?

Either of the three reasons

1) I am insane

2) I enjoy imagining clumsy people doing clumsy things

3) I was once clumsy and therefore I now make others clumsy

PS: Thank you Mr. Mazur for inspiring the gym part of the story where you made me sit out, I won the game though see, I won.

PSS: I know my PE teacher is never going to read this so I must be insane


End file.
